The Australian federal election has been called for May 3rd. If you’re not from Australia, you may have some questions about what’s going on. These are not the answers you’re looking for.
We have many political parties in Australia. You can recognise the big ones by their distinctive colours:
- Red is for Labor, who would like a republic.
- Blue is for the Liberals, who are like Republicans.
- Green is for the Nationals, who stand for the bush.
- Green is for the Greens, who stand for the environment.
- Do not confuse Green and Green.
- The Greens and Nationals disagree on most things
- Except greengrocers
- Which they are against.
- Teal is not a party.
- Yellow. We don’t talk about Yellow.
Other parties are also available. But be aware that:
- The Sex Party has been merged with the Voluntary Euthanasia Party.
- The Pirate Party has experienced Fusion.
- The No Self Government Party has received self-government.
- The “Keep the B*st*rds Honest” party has been voted out.
And remember: on May 3rd, most of us must turn up. Unless you have already turned out, in which case you may turn in. If you turn up despite having already turned out, you may be turned away.
Can you elaborate on what happens if colours get mixed? That part of colours has always confused me. Eg red and blue mixed makes…?
The Electoral Commission, of course!