Monthly Archives: March 2025

A (Facetious) Guide to Australian Political Parties

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The Australian federal election has been called for May 3rd. If you’re not from Australia, you may have some questions about what’s going on. These are not the answers you’re looking for.

We have many political parties in Australia. You can recognise the big ones by their distinctive colours:

  1. Red is for Labor, who would like a republic.
  2. Blue is for the Liberals, who are like Republicans.
  3. Green is for the Nationals, who stand for the bush.
  4. Green is for the Greens, who stand for the environment.
  5. Do not confuse Green and Green.
    • The Greens and Nationals disagree on most things
    • Except greengrocers
    • Which they are against.
  6. Teal is not a party.
  7. Yellow. We don’t talk about Yellow.

Other parties are also available. But be aware that:

  1. The Sex Party has been merged with the Voluntary Euthanasia Party.
  2. The Pirate Party has experienced Fusion.
  3. The No Self Government Party has received self-government.
  4. The “Keep the B*st*rds Honest” party has been voted out.

And remember: on May 3rd, most of us must turn up. Unless you have already turned out, in which case you may turn in. If you turn up despite having already turned out, you may be turned away.

Progress Continues OK-ish

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In the last fortnight, I have:

  • Got to sleep at 1:29 AM on average, for 7 hours, 14 minutes’ worth of sleep. Both these numbers are increasing slowly. I think this means I’m staying up too late and then sleeping very late on weekends to make up for it, which isn’t ideal.
  • Made eight things:
    • Three evenings of work on my budget,
    • Two evenings switching ISPs: my old one put their price up, and that motivated me to find a much better deal.
    • One evening of D&D prep,
    • One scene of writing,
    • And one evening of tax paperwork. This and the story arc I’m writing are both close to done, which is nice.
  • And I finished one thing, Jill Bearup’s Just Stab Me Now. This was a welcome break from the excess of memes I’ve been consuming lately, but still a little summarised (as the format would suggest). I may have to get the book, if I can fit it into my to-be-read pile.

The D&D party finally cleared the dungeon last week, which means I need to get my act together preparing the next one.

Autumn is Looking Brighter

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This fortnight (ending Thursday), I have:

  • Got to sleep at 1:22 AM on average, for 7 hours, 10 minutes’ worth of sleep. This is a good improvement, but I was also on holiday this past week (ending today), so it remains to be seen if this will last.
  • Made ten things:
    • Three evenings of work on my budget,
    • Three evenings organising the holiday,
    • Two of D&D prep,
    • And I wrote both a poem and a short prose scene.
  • Finished two things:
    • I read In a Garden Burning Gold, by Rory Power. I picked this book up purely for an interesting cover, but I don’t regret the decision at all.
    • And I saw Hadestown in Sydney, which was excellent. This musical just has layers upon layers! And the trombonist had a very sharp outfit, too.

D&D was last week, and saw the game get rolling again. I flubbed my attempt to re-rail the plot, but the PCs have nonetheless found a goal and are following it.